Last Monday, I visited my ophthalmologist for my yearly eye checkup and eyeglass prescription adjustment. Since I have Type II diabetes, my medical regimen includes holding back retinal neuropathy and any sort of blood hemorrhage in my eyes – thus requiring a yearly routine of an ophthalmologist in the summer and a retinal specialist in the winter. Thankfully, I’ve been able to hold back any sort of vision danger – originally such “hold-back” included several retinal eye injections (owchie), and then later some laser surgery to curtail and control some of the potential dangers.
Needless to say, I’m doing okay. But that doesn’t mean I can slough off on checkups.
And after the ophthalmologist, I visit the adjacent optician store for a new set of lenses. There’s a slight adjustment in my close-up vision, but I can still use my original frames with some new lenses, which should arrive from the custom company in a couple of weeks.
Okay. We’ve gotten that taken care of. But the reason I’m talking about my ophthalmologist at all will involve this shaggy-dog story. Trust me, I’m getting to the point.
The ophthalmologist’s waiting room features a big-screen television which, for some reason, is tuned to one of those FAST TV channels that show marathons of old TV shows. And as luck would have it, apparently the television is tuned to the TasteSide channel. No, I’ve never heard of it either. But it’s supposedly airing in the waiting room as some sort of ersatz background entertainment.
And at the time, the TasteSide channel is showing reruns of a Canadian home improvement show called Backyard Builds. The show features two people who visit someone’s overgrown backyard, and within 30 minutes they’ve transformed the backyard into something incredible. Yep, it’s Pimp My Ride for the lawn set.
And while watching this show, I’m noticing something about the broadcast. The female host of the show, Sarah Keenleyside, seems to have an unlimited wardrobe collection. I mean … a seriously large wardrobe collection.
This is one episode. Count how many different outfits this woman wears.
How is this not a Saturday Night Live sketch in the waiting?
Oh, and it gets better. Did you know that Wayfair is one of the show’s sponsors? Of course they are, look at all the Wayfair product place. Oh, and it’s Wayfair.ca, so you’re definitely getting clues that the show is manufactured in the Great White North. That, and Sarah Keenleyside’s thick Canadian accent.
Meanwhile, I’m waiting for my appointment at the ophthalmologist, and this show is apparently on an endless loop. I sat through what may have been four episodes (or one episode with 28 different Sarah Keenleyside wardrobe changes, I’m not sure) before it was time for my eye exam.
And after some pupil dilation, I had to sit in the waiting room for another hour and watch more of this program. Hoo boy these people are amazingly cheery about renovation.
As I said, the eye exam went well. I don’t need a white cane and a dog named Mr. Leaky. Just a slight adjustment in my close-up vision.
But man oh man, the eye industry could make a ton of money by replacing those antiquated “stare at the letter” eye charts on the wall and instead ask people to identify each Sarah Keenleyside wardrobe change. I swear, I must have watched the entire run of that series in the lobby and I don’t think she wore the same outfit twice.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that … 😀
Chuck The Writer 